Sunday, October 28, 2012


I want to thank everyone who has kept up with the blog and prayed for us over the last couple weeks. I have been overwhelmed with the amount of messages and nice gestures we have recieved!! Its so touching. Thanks for reading our story. I decided to go ahead and start a CaringBridge site for Adison as both a journal to look back on and as a sort of therapy for me. I didn't want to clog up my site with all updates on Adison, so the site will be nice. So many people have asked for updates and I haven't been able to get back with everyone personally, so it will be nice for others to know where to go to get updates. Adison's site is
We greatly appreciate all the love and support during this difficult time! Go Fit Mom will be back soon! Starting to feel a lot better although I have to say, I'm not a fan of the c-section!! I know for sure my recoveries with vaginal deliveries were a bit easier than this. It's really hard, as I've said before on bed rest, to take it easy and do a lot of resting! Especially when you have little ones.
If you have suggestions or tips for me I'm all ears. I haven't been able to even do much research and reading on c-sections because I can't use my laptop in Adison's room. It really limits you to books or magazines.
Thanks friends!

Monday, October 22, 2012


I had been hearing about this "kangarooing" thing since a week ago when Adison was born. Before then I had no clue what it was? Kangarooing basically is holding your preemie baby to your bare chest and cuddling them. I've heard there are so many benefits for the baby as well as the parents, including regulating babies HR and helping mother's milk supply.

I found a good article
We all know the power of touch and we know the bond between mother and baby. It was the most amazing feeling to get to hold my baby for the 1st time today! It was so emotional yet the best feeling in the whole world. I was also astonished at the amount of milk I pumped immediately after I held her! I have been averaging 15-20 ml with each pumping. No lie, I pumped 40 ml right after holding her!! OMG...I couldn't believe it! I can't wait to hold her tomorrow!

Our first little family photo!

How Preemie Moms are Chosen

a friend emailed this to me the other day! Thanks Karin!
How Preemie Moms Are Chosen~
(Erma Bombeck)

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his
instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he
observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
"Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God?
She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That
would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea
of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so
rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has
just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,
she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time,
she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--
and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in
the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Surprise...its Birth Day!

October 16th
So we had run out of time and to save me and our baby she would be delivered by C-section asap. Before I could even ask they told me they were going to put me to sleep for the surgery! "Thank God" I thought. I just didn't think I could handle anymore. I just wanted to wake up and it all be over. They said they weren't sure how much would go on once they got in there and how much blood I would lose or how many transfusions I would need, so they preferred I was asleep. There was also a good chance they would not be able to save my uterus with such a risky surgery and the amount of bleeding. We told them not to risk my life to save it. If they needed to take it out to make it safer to do it!  Since general anesthesia affects the baby they couldn't put me under until the minute they were ready to begin. They prepped me fully awake. It was horrible hearing and seeing all that was happening around me and seeing the amount of doctors and nurses in the room. The NICU team was waiting to take our 26 week old baby and several OB and high risk doctors did the surgery. Jason geared up, but they made him wait in the hallway.

The next thing I know I wake up in the ICU recovery. They told me everything went well and baby was okay. Daddy had gone along with the baby and he got to see her and cut her cord before they took her. I breathed a huge sigh of relief! I woke up! I didn't feel a thing! My baby was alive! We did it! My family came in to visit and I relaxed. I have no idea how long I was there for? I finally got to see my baby as they took me from recovery to a room on the labor and delivery floor. I couldn't see her well because she was in her incubator and I was laying in a bed, but it was amazing just seeing her small body for the first time! I went back to labor and delivery so they could keep a closer eye on me as long as they needed. I got to see my kids for the first time since surgery. My time there is a little blurry. I think I finally got moved to the 6th floor with the rest of the moms at 1:30am. These are the rooms I am used too! A nice suite where I could relax for the next several days. The only thing that would be so different is that I wouldn't get to have my baby in my room for visitors and feedings.
She looks like a regular size baby here! She was born at 2lbs 4oz. 14 1/2 inches long!

Oh...another strange thing. My mom had been praying to St. Gerard ever since we learned I had this previa issue. St. Gerard is the patron saint of expectant mothers. She called me a few days after completely amazed that Adison was born on the feast day of St. Gerard! Maybe he was protecting me during my delivery??? Hmm...

Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Arrival of Adison: Part 3 "Out of Time"

I've made it to Monday morning. Our next goal...12 more hours. At this point every day, every 12 hours she stays inside is giving her a better chance to survive. They are still saying my baby is 25 weeks and I'm still trying to tell them I am 26 weeks. I know the date of my last period, the date of conception, I know she is 26 weeks, but because of measurements at my 20 week ultrasound they pushed my due date back and are calling her 25 weeks and 5 days today. "Whatever"....if thats what they want to say, it won't make much difference. If anything she could be a bit ahead of what they are saying and that will be a good thing.

Today my mom comes to sit with me. I don't think she even realized how serious this was getting until she saw me. Everyone just thinks I'm on bed rest, but there is no way I'm having this baby now.
Monday was fairly uneventful. I now have a bedside toilet so I don't go too far and since I am so nauseated with the mag that I can barely sit straight up or stand for that matter. The bleeding shows when I urinate and we know it is still happening. They didn't even check my cervix or do any further exams to know that I was actively bleeding. It was showing on my pad and in the urine. It was concerning enough I guess for them to run blood test after blood test. This is when they see that there is an issue in my blood. It is not clotting like it should, so the bleeding is not stopping. A big problem! This was concerning enough that they started talking about delivering.

We met with a NICU doctor late Monday evening. I really didn't know if I wanted to meet with them. I didn't know if I wanted to hear what they had to say. Were they going to give me a statistic or tell me my baby might not live??? I wasn't sure I could hear this. The meeting happened anyway. I really couldn't ask questions. I just cried. The doctor was very very nice and he just did all the talking. He explained what steps they take from the delivery room and in the first hours for babies this young. He said they would have everything ready. He told us they have babies in the NICU born as young as 23 weeks. He explained that 25 (I'm still thinking 26) weeks is not ideal, but babies can be just fine. The first 5-7 days is the most critical. He went through a number of things that could happen and the long term health issues or disabilities that can develop. I can't even talk about them still right now. I can't let myself think about them! It was the worst meeting I've ever sat through.
My goal Monday night is again to make it to 6am. This one I just set for myself. Tonight they thought it was best if Jason stayed in case they would need to deliver in an emergency. They said they would have me ready in 5 minutes if they needed to and even if it weren't an emergency they would be ready for surgery within 20 minutes. Too much time for him to get there! They had left the labor and delivery bed in my room after getting me a real bed so he at least had that. Again tonight I'm praying and watching the clock all night waiting for 6am!

I made it again! I made it to 6am Tuesday and then I thought well...I made it this far I'll keep sleeping until I have to get up. I'm baking this baby as long as possible. Exerting as little energy as possible on anything. I haven't eaten a real meal since Sunday morning and I didn't care. The only thing was the thirst! I was so damn thirsty. They told me I would be, but not to drink alot. Mostly it was ice chips and maybe a little sprite. "Cottonmouth" terrible! At 7:00am Jason kissed me and said he was running home to help my mom get the kids to school. It wasn't an hour later that I'm calling him back in a sob to tell him, "come back, they are going to deliver her now". 

I can't remember exactly, but I had had blood draws every 4 hours or so and it was telling them that I was bleeding into the uterus and even whatever they were giving me to make it stop wasn't working because my blood wasn't clotting. I think they ordered a transfusion before the decision to deliver, but I can't remember? I was receiving some sort of hemoglobin or plasma that was going to help the clotting. It didn't look like blood. It was brownish and it was cold! It came from the blood bank frozen and they thaw it and put it in. I am pretty sure it was after this transfusion that they found this wasn't working and my blood was just taking this and eating it up, but not doing what it was suppose to? I had something called DIC. Its easier to give a link to it then try to explain it. After looking this up I understand why my family and friends were all thinking I would die. the look in my sister, aunts and mom's faces were scary. Of course I didn't know what I had besides what they told me.

A doctor I had never seen came in and sat by my bed. He explained what was happening with the blood and explained that my life was in danger at this point and that we couldn't wait any longer. We will have to get the baby delivered very shortly. He was gentle and sincere. I was a mess. He said they would aim to do it at 9am after a couple more transfusions and some prep. My doctor came in shortly after and said he would be in the surgery as well as the high risk doctors. There were 2 anastegiologists that helped with prep and a third doctor of some sort (not sure what part he played). My nurses got several more types of blood ready and other type of IV bags. I swear they pumped about 6 bags of stuff into me before surgery! Jason was there and my mom and sister were let into the room while they were doing this too. I got really anxious and started to freak out a little. I had at least 8 sets of eyes on me like I wasn't even there, just watching. I asked everyone to leave. I just wanted it all to be over. The only relieving part of the whole prep was the anastegiologists telling me that they were going to put me all the way under for the surgery instead of an epidural. Thank god! I had way too many needles and can't even think of epidurals until I'm in severe pain, plus I had just went through so much I wasn't sure I could handle the sights and sounds of the surgery. I just wanted to wake up and it be all over!

Arrival of Adison: Part 2

October 14th & 15th

So I got over the party and most of sunday was pretty uneventful. I had recieved my 2nd of the steriod shots Sunday morning at 6am...oh boy was I looking forward to that! I had already had the IV and numerous blood draws, but I can't tell you just how bad I am with the needles! The nurses learned not to tell me when they were going to do something, just do it! Emily (my nurse) kept telling me how good she was at giving shots, but the last one hurt so damn bad I thought she was going to have to strap me to the bed! (Didn't you think shots in the butt weren't suppose to hurt as much? Thats what I always thought!) She actually was pretty good! Didn't hurt near as bad.

Sunday afternoon I was feeling pretty optomistic that there would be no more bleeding and that they would just let me go on bed rest until it was time to deliver. The high risk Dr. had taken me over and she was very nice and had given us a goal of Thanksgiving before delivering. That would put me around 30 weeks and that was our first short term goal. We DID NOT WANT TO HAVE A BABY BEFORE 30 WEEKS. In her words, "We will move heaven and earth Joy, before we deliver this baby before 30 weeks gestation. Blood transfusions, nasty drugs, anything to keep you pregnant for as long as we can. We will only deliver if we feel it is a life threatening situation for you or the baby and right now she is as happy as can be!"

She talked about "mag" being magnesium sulfate. It is a very nasty drug that is used to hold off labor or slow contractions. It is very effective, but its very ugly for mom. We were told to imagine having the flu or the worst hangover you've ever had. (Oh now you're speaking my language...I know what that feels like too well! :) Okay, so I can handle that if needed, but please don't do anything with my blood or shots (just whats going on in my head!)

2nd Bleed started Sunday afternoon. It was decided very shortly after that that I would go on "the mag". My contractions were coming at 5 per hour and weren't very intense, but were too many and were probably going to cause more bleeding.
The first 30 minutes of the magnesium are the hardest. Its the strongest dose and you feel the worst. A nurse would stay with me for those 30 minutes and take my BP, temp, O2, etc every 5 minutes!
"The first thing you will feel is very very warm as we start putting this through your IV" (ANOTHER IV...I should mention...I now have one in each arm!) "You might sweat and feel sick to your stomach. If you feel like you're going to get sick, let us know. Just try to relax." It is all a bit of a blur. I know I felt really strange. Had a little bit of blurry vision and just got really drousy. It just happened to be that my kids arrived as I was recieving this. They had really wanted to see their mommy since it had been the evening before since they last saw me. This had to be terrible for them. I was hooked up to so much and I was lifeless. My sweet and sensitive Taylor looked so sad and concerned. She had been asking daddy the night before if her mommy would die? Bless her little heart. I felt so bad for her. They only stayed a few minutes and it did brighten my day and give me more hope seeing them.
After the initial 30 minutes I went on a slow drip of the mag for the next 24 hours. I think 24 hours is about all a person can handle at one time and then they take you off for a while? They kept mentioning my size and how well I was handling it.

Sunday night I stayed at the hospital alone agan. We didn't see reason Jason should stay since they were controlling the contractions and we were just trying to hold off as long as possible. I was thinking it was the beginning of at least a week of being there on the mag. I thought we had plenty of time. It was later in the evening when they started saying they were dissapointed that the bleeding was not stopping even though they were slowing contractions. Our goals became even shorter now. We needed to make it 12 hours until 6am on Monday morning so that the steroids would be optomized and will have then had the full 24 hours to work to the full extend and her lungs would have a good chance. That Sunday night they woke me every hour to do vitals, came in even more often to fix the HR monitor on my belly, and I counted the hours until 6am just to make it to my goal of 12 hours! I prayed and prayed to let me make it to 6am. I did. "What's next? What's my next goal?" I needed another.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Arrival of Adison: Part 1

It was so hard to give individual updates to everyone in those first days that we got to the hospital and things all happened so fast, it was hard to keep up. This will give our full story and be great documentation for me. This time was so much different than the usual labor and delivery. No cute pictures, baby with mommy, daddy, grandmas, etc. No doubt though...we will never forget it!

Friday Oct 12th
My mom, aunt and I had been working so hard on my sister's surprise 30th birthday party. It was only one day before and we still had so much to do! The cardinal playoff game was on at 7pm and we went to my aunts to finish decorating, icing cupcakes, etc. I was mad we couldn't get the game on because there are so many damn remotes we didn't know how to work anything! At this point, I'm still suppose to be on "REST" however you would describe what I was doing? This day wasn't very restful and by 8 or 9pm I was feeling it. I knew I did too many steps and I was just tired. I also was having contractions. Not frequent, but not often enough to feel them. Not strong, but just strong enough that I would stop for a moment. Finally at 10pm I was tired, a little concerned and pissed I was missing the game, so I went home.
I laid in bed thinking we lost and being crabby. Jason kept yelling as we started to come back. I kept contracting and saying..."oh god...this is making me have contractions, I don't know if I should watch it!" As you know...we won! After the excitement we turned the tv off. Not even 15 min later did I feel a "gush" "Crap" I knew exactly what it was! Blood!
I got up, put on a pad and thought...Okay...I'm going to give this some time. Maybe it will stop on its own or not be enough that we have to go to the hospital? Its midnight, I don't want to wake anyone to stay with the kids. I'll give it a few hours and see how it is. I didn't sleep much. At 3am I went in and checked. I had filled a nightime maxi-pad. At 4am I decided I should go to the hospital. After all...the sooner I get there, the sooner they will tell me I can go home! :) Hahah..I laugh at that thought now.
Jason wanted to take me, but I made him wait a while to call his parents to come from an hour away to watch our kids and I wanted the head start at the hospital. I drove myself to Mercy. He arrived about 1 hour later. It wasn't long before we got there that the first resident or nurse (can't remember) said the words "24 hours of observation" that made me absolutely flip out! I think every labor and delivery nurse on the floor and the 4-5 residents all knew by that next afternoon that it was my sister's 30th birthday party and I was going to miss it. They knew not to say a word because every time they did I started to cry! I knew deep down that I shouldn't be leaving. I knew they were right that the bleeding would happen again and we were looking at a serious situation, but it was so hard to face at the moment. The first big decision they made was to give me the series of 2 steroid shots that would boost the babies lung development and give her a better chance in the chance they would have to deliver her. The shots must be done 24 hours apart. I had my first one at 6am on Sat the 13th and would get the second at 6am the 14th.
I had a couple more ultrasounds to look at the placenta. I did have a complete previa.

You can see how the bleeding occurs from the placenta. The gravity is pulling it down and anything that disturbs the placenta can cause it to bleed. We heard over and over how contractions cause bleeding and bleeding causes contractions. Both are irritants to the uterus and are a continuous cycle like laboring.

The remainder of Saturday was a little depressing, but we made it through. I got text messages and pictures constantly from my family and friends at the party. The party was a huge success and everyone had a great time.
I think it was 2am when I got my last text and the party didn't end until 4am!
Needless to say, the next morning was pretty quiet! I thought my family was dead. I didn't hear from any of them until about noon! Good thing there was no change up until that point. Most of Sunday was pretty un-eventful. My dad who had come from Austin, TX to surprise my sister at the party got to visit me in the hospital for a while on Sunday. That was good.


Friday, October 19, 2012

Meet Adison Jae! Our little miracle!

I have a LOT of writing to do to get everyone caught up on our story. You WILL want to read it because it is very interesting and never was there a dull moment! I'm working on that soon. This is the first time in 5 days I have opened my laptop! Mostly I was just too weak or sick, but its be so hard to update everyone individually. Most of you know that she arrived, so here she is. She was born October 16th by c-section at 10:11am weighing 2lbs 4oz and measuring 14.5 inches long. Not a bad size for only 26 weeks! The pictures don't even due her justice. I will try to take more and along with something that really shows her size. I still have yet to hold her :( So far we have only been able to touch her little foot or hand! She is our little miracle baby! She is breathing on her own...amazing for her gestation!
Stay tuned for our whole story! Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers and support!!!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Creamy White Chicken Chili

Its Fall, its chilly out, the Cards are in the playoffs...what could be better? How about some yummy white chicken chili on a Sunday afternoon! I looked around on the internet for a good recipe. I like my white chili creamy, so this is what I came up with...

Creamy White Chicken Chili (my way)

1/2 box chicken broth
1 brick cream cheese
4 half chicken breasts chopped/cubed small
3 cans white beans (great white northern, and white kidney)
1 can white sweet corn
1 can diced green chilis
1 tbsp. cumin
garlic pepper (to taste)
pepper (to taste)

Start by cooking diced chicken in a little olive oil with garlic pepper until no longer pink. Add green chilis and chicken broth...let simmer a few minutes. Add remaining ingredients and let simmer 15 minutes or so. (I actually added another can white beans and another can of corn because I was having a larger crowd. Make it your own!)
I also bought some sour cream and chives to add to the top!


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Buying and Selling Breastmilk!?

I knew that women donated their breast milk, but the concept of buying and selling breastmilk through classified ads is something I have been hearing more about recently and I honestly was a little surprised by! just go on craigslist and buy some random woman's breastmilk to feed your baby?? I don't know why this seems somewhat strange to me! Anyone else?

I only found one posting locally on craigslist for breastmilk, but I did a search and there are plenty of sites out there where you can buy and sell breastmilk only!
Here are a couple:

You can also donate to a milk bank. Milk banks use the donated milk to sell to hospitals for ill or premature babies in the NICU (something I didn't know...hmmm). They also use the milk to produce their own nutritional formulations that the hospitals will use.

So who can donate?

Almost any nursing mother can donate. If you are healthy with a good medical history, you are a likely candidate. You will need to complete a medical survey, get medical confirmation from your doctor and your baby's pediatrician, have your blood tested for diseases and give a cheek cell sample, all at no cost to you. You will be informed of any test results that would indicate a health problem so that you can follow up with your doctor. If all of your results are fine, you can begin to donate breast milk.

I am definitely a fan of breastfeeding! I did it with both of my children, but only lasted about 4 months with each. It seemed that as soon as I went back to work and started pumping I stopped making milk. I also have a theory that women with small breasts simply don't make as much! :) I even tried a prescription last time because I really really wanted to last longer, but I was only getting 1 oz every time I pumped! It didn't help much. After having the bottle and having to work so hard to get anything from me, my daughter didn't want anything to do with me!

I still am not sure I would buy someone else's milk?? I really can't fully wrap my brain around it. How do you feel about it? I'm curious if others would buy? I think I would sell my milk in a heartbeat! I totally get money...why not? The ABC piece I watched (link below) said that a woman can make $20,000 a year selling her breast milk! Are you kidding?? You've got to watch this! I also don't mean to judge, but I think these women prove my theory. These women all look to have huge breasts! Not fair!

Another article...

Monday, October 1, 2012

Alternatives to Halloween candy?

Are there equally as fun alternatives to halloween candy, or are you just being no fun if you don't give candy??? I know I hate when my kids bring home all that candy that I'm just going to throw away 2 days later, but I'm probably not the norm! I don't want to give out apples or anything, but every year I go through this..."what can I give that will be fun, but isn't candy?"
Here are some of my suggestions. Take em or leave em, but I do think some kids (especially the little ones) will go for some of this fun stuff instead of the candy!

Halloween pencils
Temporary tattoos
Fruit snacks
Microwave popcorn
Spider rings
Glow braclets
Juice boxes
Hot Chocolate (depending on weather)
Coins (fake or real!)
Silly Bands
Sidewalk Chalk
Bouncy Balls

Have other suggestions? Leave your comments!!