I've made it to Monday morning. Our next goal...12 more hours. At this point every day, every 12 hours she stays inside is giving her a better chance to survive. They are still saying my baby is 25 weeks and I'm still trying to tell them I am 26 weeks. I know the date of my last period, the date of conception, I know she is 26 weeks, but because of measurements at my 20 week ultrasound they pushed my due date back and are calling her 25 weeks and 5 days today. "Whatever"....if thats what they want to say, it won't make much difference. If anything she could be a bit ahead of what they are saying and that will be a good thing.
Today my mom comes to sit with me. I don't think she even realized how serious this was getting until she saw me. Everyone just thinks I'm on bed rest, but there is no way I'm having this baby now.
Monday was fairly uneventful. I now have a bedside toilet so I don't go too far and since I am so nauseated with the mag that I can barely sit straight up or stand for that matter. The bleeding shows when I urinate and we know it is still happening. They didn't even check my cervix or do any further exams to know that I was actively bleeding. It was showing on my pad and in the urine. It was concerning enough I guess for them to run blood test after blood test. This is when they see that there is an issue in my blood. It is not clotting like it should, so the bleeding is not stopping. A big problem! This was concerning enough that they started talking about delivering.
We met with a NICU doctor late Monday evening. I really didn't know if I wanted to meet with them. I didn't know if I wanted to hear what they had to say. Were they going to give me a statistic or tell me my baby might not live??? I wasn't sure I could hear this. The meeting happened anyway. I really couldn't ask questions. I just cried. The doctor was very very nice and he just did all the talking. He explained what steps they take from the delivery room and in the first hours for babies this young. He said they would have everything ready. He told us they have babies in the NICU born as young as 23 weeks. He explained that 25 (I'm still thinking 26) weeks is not ideal, but babies can be just fine. The first 5-7 days is the most critical. He went through a number of things that could happen and the long term health issues or disabilities that can develop. I can't even talk about them still right now. I can't let myself think about them! It was the worst meeting I've ever sat through.
My goal Monday night is again to make it to 6am. This one I just set for myself. Tonight they thought it was best if Jason stayed in case they would need to deliver in an emergency. They said they would have me ready in 5 minutes if they needed to and even if it weren't an emergency they would be ready for surgery within 20 minutes. Too much time for him to get there! They had left the labor and delivery bed in my room after getting me a real bed so he at least had that. Again tonight I'm praying and watching the clock all night waiting for 6am!
I made it again! I made it to 6am Tuesday and then I thought well...I made it this far I'll keep sleeping until I have to get up. I'm baking this baby as long as possible. Exerting as little energy as possible on anything. I haven't eaten a real meal since Sunday morning and I didn't care. The only thing was the thirst! I was so damn thirsty. They told me I would be, but not to drink alot. Mostly it was ice chips and maybe a little sprite. "Cottonmouth" terrible! At 7:00am Jason kissed me and said he was running home to help my mom get the kids to school. It wasn't an hour later that I'm calling him back in a sob to tell him, "come back, they are going to deliver her now".
I can't remember exactly, but I had had blood draws every 4 hours or so and it was telling them that I was bleeding into the uterus and even whatever they were giving me to make it stop wasn't working because my blood wasn't clotting. I think they ordered a transfusion before the decision to deliver, but I can't remember? I was receiving some sort of hemoglobin or plasma that was going to help the clotting. It didn't look like blood. It was brownish and it was cold! It came from the blood bank frozen and they thaw it and put it in. I am pretty sure it was after this transfusion that they found this wasn't working and my blood was just taking this and eating it up, but not doing what it was suppose to? I had something called DIC. Its easier to give a link to it then try to explain it. After looking this up I understand why my family and friends were all thinking I would die. the look in my sister, aunts and mom's faces were scary. Of course I didn't know what I had besides what they told me. http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/disseminated-intravascular-coagulation-dic-topic-overview
A doctor I had never seen came in and sat by my bed. He explained what was happening with the blood and explained that my life was in danger at this point and that we couldn't wait any longer. We will have to get the baby delivered very shortly. He was gentle and sincere. I was a mess. He said they would aim to do it at 9am after a couple more transfusions and some prep. My doctor came in shortly after and said he would be in the surgery as well as the high risk doctors. There were 2 anastegiologists that helped with prep and a third doctor of some sort (not sure what part he played). My nurses got several more types of blood ready and other type of IV bags. I swear they pumped about 6 bags of stuff into me before surgery! Jason was there and my mom and sister were let into the room while they were doing this too. I got really anxious and started to freak out a little. I had at least 8 sets of eyes on me like I wasn't even there, just watching. I asked everyone to leave. I just wanted it all to be over. The only relieving part of the whole prep was the anastegiologists telling me that they were going to put me all the way under for the surgery instead of an epidural. Thank god! I had way too many needles and can't even think of epidurals until I'm in severe pain, plus I had just went through so much I wasn't sure I could handle the sights and sounds of the surgery. I just wanted to wake up and it be all over!
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