Friday, February 15, 2013

How you can help a NICU family or a New Mother

Having a baby born 14 weeks early was hard, but it would have been even harder had it not been for our amazing family, friends, and community who supported us and helped us through those 108 days! People did things for us that I would never had imagined! Even complete strangers wrote messages to us and prayed for us daily. I realized that during a time like this people just want to help in any way. Sometimes they don't know how they can help, but they just want to feel like they contributed something. Many people say, "If you need anything, please let us know". We all have been there, it's hard to accept or reach out for help, but it's also hard to know how you can help someone during a difficult time. I have compiled a list of some of the amazing acts of kindness and ways you can help a NICU family during their time of need, or even things you can do for any new mother. Sometimes lending a helping hand can mean more than a gift and will be greatly appreciated. Especially when the family has other children at home. Here are some ideas....

1. Drop off some grocery necessities....milk, eggs, bread, pasta, peanut butter, frozen pizzas, soda, etc. Things you think the family uses and especially when they are short on time.

2. Make up a hospital care package....magazines, instant coffees, tea, snack bars, nuts, crayons and color books (for kids), goldfish crackers, etc. Families spend a lot of time in the cafeteria for snacks and meals and have a lot of downtime. This makes for less of those trips!

3. Make up some frozen meals. Time for Dinner www.timefordinner.com is a nice local (St. Louis) business where you can make yummy meals to freeze. Or you can just make your own. These come in handy now or later for the family! Our friends emailed out a calendar on www.signupgenius.com for friends and family to sign up to bring us meals. So greatly appreciated during our NICU stay!

4. Offer to send over a cleaning lady or service. We are both so fortunate that our mothers happen to do this for a living, but I can't say how nice it was to come home to a sparkling clean and sanitized house with our baby. Yard maintenance is another great idea if it's summer. Especially when the family is so short on time!

5. Sign the family or baby up for masses. Especially if the baby is sick and needs the prayers. We had several people enroll our baby in a Membership of Adoration that would dedicate 9 masses to her over the course of a year. A very thoughtful and meaningful gift. You may also add the family or baby to the prayer chain at your church or start a perpetual rosary...another amazing gesture that was started for our baby!

6. Plan a day to take the other children to do something fun and let the parents spend alone time or spend time at the hospital. This also does so much for the siblings who are going through a rough time and need the extra attention.

7. Send the family stationary, thank you cards, or stamps! With a new baby or a NICU stay the family has many thank you notes to write and this eliminates a few stops for them. A great gift idea!

8. Deliver a hot meal or have a meal delivered from a restaurant. Arrange the date ahead of time so the family knows. How nice it is to come home from a long day and have a hot meal delivered to your door!

9. Give a baby care package with diapers, wipes, and other baby care items that can be used later at home. You can never have enough diapers! Of course gift cards for these things are handy too.

10. Give the parents a nice journal, daily devotional, or other easy reading material. It is nice to have somewhere to keep thoughts or log of what's happening day to day and other meaningful but easy reading materials that can be picked up and read at any time and keep your thoughts positive.

11. Gather a few people to pay a month of tuition for the family, buy them a gas card, or help them financially in another way. Not only do medical bills start piling up, but when a parent is unable to work and has gas and food expenses that they wouldn't normally have, money gets tight! We were fortunate in that a good friend is involved with a foundation www.maggiewelby.org  that helps with education expenses when families go through medical issues or hardships. What a burden lifted!

These are just some of the generous gifts and gestures we received during our difficult time that really made a difference! We were overwhelmed with the generosity of others and are ever so grateful. Sometimes you want to help someone, but you just don't know how. I hope this will give you some ideas if you should ever need them!

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